How to avoid “quitter’s day” for your New Year’s resolutions.
Hello Everyone, happy new year! We’re closing the first week of the year and I wanted to touch base on a very familiar topic for everyone.
We’ve all been there. It’s December 31st, 11:59 PM and you’re trying to list all of your New Year’s resolutions. You start the year invigorated and full of motivation to crush the year and show the world the new “You”. However ... a few days or weeks go by, life hits you in the face, and that sense of purpose starts to wane. In fact, January 19th (or the second Friday of January) is considered “Quitters Day” in Strava. Wow.
Why is that? Is it that we have a very short and predefined amount of motivational fuel inside of us or is it something more psychologically driven such as the unconscious fear of failure? Whatever it is, it seems that somehow we manage to sabotage our own objectives.
Regardless if it is a fitness goal such as running a marathon or something more intellectual like reading a book per month ... nine times out of ten, we don’t follow through with our goals because of two reasons:
1) Lack of specificity and measurability
2) Operating with an end-goal oriented mindset vs. a process oriented mindset
Let me explain the first point ... A lot of times, we say “I’m gonna lose weight” or “I’m gonna read more”. The problem with this approach – as well intentioned as it is – is that it lacks details. Details that will help us measure our progress and tell us if we’re on the right track or not. Details such as “I need to lose 5 kg in the next three months.” or “I will read for 20 minutes before bed”.
You see the difference?
By assigning a value that can be quantified and measured to our set of goals, we can start to track performance. And this is what helps in sticking with the goal for a longer period of time than just a few days.
The second part is something that I discovered after reading the book Atomic Habits by James Clear. In the book, he explains that there’s nothing wrong with having goals. However, goals are finite. Once they are accomplished (and that’s a big IF), they are done.
People might be paralyzed after accomplishing the goal because there’s nothing left to do. They only tackled the challenge as an action item in a to-do list rather than modifying their identity to become the type of person that tackles that particular challenge on a consistent basis. In other words, it is not the same to run one race than being a runner.
So, what are some of the best mechanisms there are to make sure we stick with our goals? How do you become a runner rather than someone who ran a race once in a blue moon?
Focus on systems not on goals.
Goals focus on results, whereas systems focus on the process. Most people are always thinking about the end goal, the result, the infamous “when I get there, I’ll be happy/successful/satisfied/king of the world”. But in reality, the bigger and more ambitious the goal, the more likely it will be that you’ll fail (sorry for the tough love). Why? Because at the starting point, you are too far away to even see the finish line. So, in order to avoid this, we need a different lens through which we see the goal. There’s a beautiful conversation in a children’s book called The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse by Charlie Mackesy. The little boy tells the horse that he can’t see a way through. And the horse asks him: “can you see the next step?”. The boy replies “yes”. To which the horse answers back: “just take that”. Out of such a simple story, we can extract meaningful philosophical lessons. Focus on the little steps and eventually you’ll get to your destination. Little actions will compound into great feats.
Understand your behavior before trying to modify your habits.
Before you decide to take your first step in achieving whatever goal you set for yourself, it’s important to understand why were you not doing it in the first place. If you want to run three times a week, you need to ask yourself why haven’t you done it before. Were you going to bed too late, therefore, you couldn’t even try to do it first thing in the morning? Were you leaving work too late that by the time you got home you were exhausted? Ask yourself “why” five times until you get the answer. Once you have that very clear in your head, you can start by implementing the cue -> craving -> response -> reward system recommended by James Clear. If you see your running shoes next to the door (cue), you’ll feel compelled to run because you will feel like you did something productive before the day started (craving). Once you run (response), your mind and body will feel satisfied that you completed your task (reward).
Modify your environment to remove obstacles.
One big reason that we sometimes fail to do something is because our environment is not conducive to act. In other words, if my desk is cluttered, I will not feel compelled to work or read productively. If my kitchen is dirty, I will not feel like cooking, etc. The more your environment is conducive and tailored to a specific activity, the less willpower you’ll have to summon to complete it. Architect carefully all of the places where you spend your time to maximize results.
It is not hard to build new habits and stick to New Year’s resolutions. Far from it. It requires grit, perseverance, patience, and an understanding of how your mind and body perform more effectively and efficiently. Hoping that you find some wisdom in these words to crush whatever you have coming in 2022.
Peace.
-A
